A few years ago, i went to a wedding of my cousin "Melissa" is what she called herself; we had a fall out.
When we were young, she is always a very competitive person, she is also a very "Image Driven" person. She is afraid of showing me around when i first moved to the US, afraid that her friends in high school would make fun of her. She also thinks religions are for people who are emotionally weak. She said religion is an emotional crouch. She probably didn't know i took those things in heart.
At her wedding, I was feeling very emotionally unstable, after my father's passing, in between jobs, and just feeling very out of touch with the world. Something snapped when they asked my grandfather to make a speech, he looks uneasy and he declined to make a speech. Suddenly i got upset and decided to walk out during the wedding, so i got up and walked out, my mother and grandpa followed, we got in the car, Melissa's brother tried to convince me to go back, but i would not return to the banquet hall. I decided we are leaving. so we left.
After that, i heard that Melissa felt really humiliated, and would not speak to me. I tried to apologize, but i guess i really didn't feel like reconnecting with her again, i felt quite relieved that she is mad at me, i was tired of her fake smiles and the image driven personality.
We finally meet again at Grandpa's funeral, she acted like nothing happened, even said something like "Come visit us..blah blah blah..", i tried not to sit next to her during the dinner after memorial service, i sat next to my other cousin, so Melissa's husband asked me why wouldn't i sit next to her? I was thinking..."why should i sit next to her? So she can keep up a fake relationship with me"?
Anyway, i heard that she still have not forgiven me, but i am not surprised, she is an atheist, doesn't really understands the word of forgiveness. I don't like her but i don't hate her, plus all the other put downs she bestowed on me. I wish she can look at herself and know how prideful she is. As for me, i am relieved at this point i don't have to see her on any major holidays.
